Rafa Benitez has sensationally quit football to pursue a career in professional darts.
The Real Madrid manager has given his bosses just two weeks to find his replacement before he leaves the club to begin his career as a professional darts player.
“I’ve always loved darts and I feel I have the right physique for the sport. My determination to win coupled with my never ending hunger makes darts the perfect sport for me” said Benitez.
The shocking decision has come amidst controversy with former Madrid boss, Jose Mourinho, who publicly insulted Benitez about his weight.
“I have thought long and hard about what José said and he’s right. I don’t want to stay in football if I have to diet. I refuse to be involved in a sport where eating chocolate cover fried chicken in a bathtub of gravy is frowned upon.”
Benitez has been criticised over his weight several times this season, most notably when Benitez was fined €5,000 for locking himself into the staff canteen and eating the entire first teams lunches including several napkins and one Adidas predator boot.
“That was an isolated incident. I thought everybody else had ate so I helped myself to what I thought were leftovers and that boot shouldn’t have been in the canteen anyway.” said Benitez
The Spaniard hasn’t settled on a stage name yet but Rafa ‘Istan-Fried-Bul’ and ‘Butter’ Benitez are the two favourites at 5/2 and 3/1.
His entrance music is also under speculation with ‘Fast Food Rockers – The Fast Food Song’ out in front at evens.
(This article is entirely fictional and was written for entertainment purposes only.)