According to our friends at Soccer On Sunday;
Steven Gerrard has been appointed manager of Everton Football Club on a 3 year deal following the sacking of Frank Lampard. The 42 year-old is a shock choice, given his iconic history with local rivals Liverpool.
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Opportunity
“The stench of Everton,” said Gerrard. “It gets into your pores. Everything smells like Tony Hibbert. I walked through the door this evening and the missus shouted, ‘Don’t you walk in here smelling of Tony Hibbert.’ I had to eat my dinner in the shed.”
“It’s win-win,” he added. “Gain valuable experience, and get the blue scum relegated. If we win a game I’ll be disappointed, so I’ll probably not tinker with much of what Frank put in place. Just a few tweaks here and there to make the team even shitter.”
Deal
“The red shitebag kindly came to my house yesterday afternoon,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “We talked for a while about football, I outlined my feeling that he is scum, he said that he feels the same about me, we bareknuckle-boxed for several minutes and then shook hands on a deal. All very simple.”
“I’ve scrubbed and scrubbed my hands,” added Kenwright. “But the bang of Phil Coutinho off them is sickening. I came to bed last night and the missus shouted, ‘Don’t you be coming near this bed with those filthy Phil Coutinho paws’. I had to sleep on the couch.”
Ha ha, 😂🤣😂, that was great reading 👍
Benchwarmers is the perfect name for this farce of a site. Rarely funny with little to no knowledge of sport. The irony.
Everton will relegated if appointed Steven Gerrard
Who is Steven Gerrard was he on x factor
Gerrard lampard Ronnie all good footballers but none of them have done well as managers ! I think who ever takes the Everton job will be wasting there time as Everton will still go down and a team that can’t beat a two bit team like West Ham deserve to go down , cant wait till the mouth alias terry gets his first managers job .
Who’s Ronnie ?
Steven Gerrard Won the Scottish Premier league with Rangers
Fun reading this as it’s only a “bit of a laugh” and nothing more. Kind regards James
Very funny, Stevie might be needed back at Anfield the way they are playing. Season over and we aren’t even into February 🤬
Do not forget Rooney is also looking for another meal ticket towards his millionaire lifestyle retirement plan …