🚨Steven Gerrard Appointed Everton Manager on 3 Year Deal

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According to our friends at Soccer On Sunday;

Steven Gerrard has been appointed manager of Everton Football Club on a 3 year deal following the sacking of Frank Lampard. The 42 year-old is a shock choice, given his iconic history with local rivals Liverpool.

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Gerrard Interview

“The stench of Everton,” said Gerrard. “It gets into your pores. Everything smells like Tony Hibbert. I walked through the door this evening and the missus shouted, ‘Don’t you walk in here smelling of Tony Hibbert.’ I had to eat my dinner in the shed.”

“It’s win-win,” he added. “Gain valuable experience, and get the blue scum relegated. If we win a game I’ll be disappointed, so I’ll probably not tinker with much of what Frank put in place. Just a few tweaks here and there to make the team even shitter.”


Kenwright Thumbs Up

“The red shitebag kindly came to my house yesterday afternoon,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “We talked for a while about football, I outlined my feeling that he is scum, he said that he feels the same about me, we bareknuckle-boxed for several minutes and then shook hands on a deal. All very simple.”

“I’ve scrubbed and scrubbed my hands,” added Kenwright. “But the bang of Phil Coutinho off them is sickening. I came to bed last night and the missus shouted, ‘Don’t you be coming near this bed with those filthy Phil Coutinho paws’. I had to sleep on the couch.”

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  1. Benchwarmers is the perfect name for this farce of a site. Rarely funny with little to no knowledge of sport. The irony.

  2. Gerrard lampard Ronnie all good footballers but none of them have done well as managers ! I think who ever takes the Everton job will be wasting there time as Everton will still go down and a team that can’t beat a two bit team like West Ham deserve to go down , cant wait till the mouth alias terry gets his first managers job .

  3. Very funny, Stevie might be needed back at Anfield the way they are playing. Season over and we aren’t even into February 🤬

  4. Do not forget Rooney is also looking for another meal ticket towards his millionaire lifestyle retirement plan …

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