A new survey has revealed that Managers of sports teams send more text messages than the average teenage girl.
The survey shows that Managers send on average 15% more text messages than that of an average teenage girl aged between 15 and 18.
“The results show that most Managers have an addiction to sending group texts to their players” said Prof. Martin Lynch.
“We’ve found that teenage girls send a steady amount of messages throughout the week with a slight increase on the weekend but Sports Managers can send up to 1,500 messages a week.”
The survey shows a spike in activity on Monday and Wednesday evenings with the top message being;
“Don’t forget fucking training now tomorrow night lads and bring fucking money.”
They also send large amounts of messages on Saturday nights mostly to inform players of the upcoming game and to not consume alcohol;
“Big game now tomorrow lads so take it easy on the drink tonight for fuck sake, you can have a pint after the game tomorrow.”
“If there’s a smell of drink off ya in the morning you’re fucking dropped. Unless we’re short.”
Sunday morning is the most active period with the average Manager sending between 200-500 messages. The most frequently sent messages on a Sunday morning are;
“Does anyone want to go on goal lads? We’ve no fucking keeper.”
“Someone go wake up that spastic Timmy he’s not answering his phone again.”
“Don’t forget to bring knicks and socks because some bastard keeps stealing them. You know who you are.”
and…
“Bring fucking money”