Man In Coma After Conversation With Michael Owen

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A man in his thirties has slipped into a coma after having a 10 second conversation with former England  International, Michael Owen.

The man who has yet to named was airlifted to a nearby hospital after he was sat next to Mr.Owen on a Ryanair flight from Dublin to Manchester.

“We were immediately concerned when we saw Mr.Owen board the plane. It is standard procedure to slip a sleeping pill into his drink to prevent him from speaking to other passengers” said Chief Flight Attendant Sandra Bury .

“We knew we had a situation on our hands when he began to speak to the passenger sitting next to him. I tried to intervene but he was just too boring and the man fell into a coma almost instantly.”

Luckily a nearby Air Marshall stepped in and choked out Mr.Owen and immediately removed him from the plane.

Several other passengers who were within earshot of Mr.Owen are being treated for severe boredom but their injuries are not serious.

This is not the first incident involving Mr.Owen. In 2013 he was responsible for the crippling of a man who threw himself in front of oncoming traffic after Mr.Owen asked him for the time.

He is also responsible for several prize winning horses being put down after he whispered in their ear and they started jumping into walls.

Ryanair have launched a full investigation and have guaranteed that an incident like this will never happen again.

For safety reasons Mr.Owen was not available for comment.


(This article was written for entertainment purposes only. Michael Owen hasn’t actually bored anyone into a coma…yet.)
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