Irish Lads Nationwide Prepare For A Heavy Session Ahead Of UFC 189

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Irish lads nationwide are stocking up on drink, fags and grub ahead of UFC 189 as Ireland’s Conor ‘Notorious’ McGregor prepares himself for the weekend’s main event.

“I’m going to have a few cans in the morning to get myself started and I’ll probably have a hot chicken roll for a bit of soakage as well” said one excited UFC fan.

“I’ll head to the off-license then for a few slabs around 2ish, which I’ll leave at the gaff, and I’m heading to the pub then for a quiet 10 or 12 before I head home about 1 in the morning to watch the UFC.”

It is expected that 90% of Irish males aged between 17-40 will be pre-drinking ahead of Conor McGregor’s title fight against Chad Mendes and will try their best to stay awake for the fight which commences in the early hours of Sunday morning.

“If I have a few JagerBombs around 2 in the morning the Red Bull should keep me going until the fight starts and I’ll jump back on the cans then because too much Red Bull is bad for you like” said Darren from Cork.

Despite the excitement there are still some concerns from parents and business owners as UFC events sometimes cause men to act like they’re professional MMA fighters.

“My stupid bastard of a son thought he was the shit the last time UFC was on and tried to choke out his friend and instead he slipped and hopped his head off the table and I was left cleaning up blood, gawk and piss after him the fucking eejit” said one concerned parent.

Several pizza companies are also concerned and have hired extra staff for the weekend as orders of €20 meal deals are expected to spike between the hours of  1-6 am.

John Sharp of Pizza Ireland said “There’s always a boost in trading during sporting events but we’re expecting a particularly busy one on the night of UFC 189. Our only concern is that some of our customers will be influenced by the moves of the UFC fighters so our drivers have been trained how to counter all choke-holds, leg locks and potential flying kicks.”

UFC 189 is live on Pay-per-view this Saturday July 11th and for live updates visit BenchWarmers Facebook page for all the best moments and Banter on the night.

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